The Bitter Sweetness con't

It is now 6:30AM in Moscow…wish me luck entertaining myself until my flight leaves in 4 hours. I can barely keep my eyes open but instead of going to sleep, I am talking to you! If nothing else then just to vent about the man sitting next to me on the 4-hour flight I just got off of from Tel Aviv. That man took up a quarter of my already small quarters on this Transaero flight and if you know me then you know that spatial awareness and personal space are both VERY important concepts to me…HE WAS TOO CLOSE!!! Both him and the woman to my right…I didn’t realize Russians were so wide! I normally freeze on flight (Kind of the way I’m freezing at this airport) but this was a sweaty, sweaty flight sandwiched between the man who should’ve purchased two seats instead of one and the woman who dropped her used earplug on me. Come on people!

Then Ole’ Dude had the nerve to go to sleep with that “cute little” eye mask on…wincing, talking, gesturing with his hands and shaking his leg (Of course the one closest to me). I kept thinking “What??? Are you having a nightmare? TAKE THE MASK OFF IF YOU’RE FREAKING OUT! You know my brother use to get in trouble for shaking his leg like that in the car and here you are…A GROWN MAN!”

Bless my soul! If that wasn’t enough, it was time to start our initial descent. Turns out he had taken off his shoes prior to me finding my seat…I was impressed that I didn’t pass away from asphyxiation by an overwhelming fat-man-foot smell, but let me tell you… when it came time to put those bad boys back on, post airplane swell, there was a struggle in row 24. The man had to take 3, COUNT’EM, 3 breaks (yes, I counted), then, when he finally sat back “normally” He was completely winded! I would’ve chuckled had I not been so upset about him invading my personal space for so long!

Now all I see is a gray sky from the large windows of the boring VKO airport. I’m sure you’re all wondering “Stephane, where’s the sweet con’t’ed?” That’s when I say “Maybe if you had a little patience…” Lol! Stam! Just kidding…is it nap time? What? Who? – Ok I’m really done…AnywayS!

The silver lining of this gray sky (not even cloud…full sky) is that I am on my way home, and I cannot explain how EXTREMELY excited I am for my new endeavors and my new NY adventures! It’s the best time of year to be in the city with all of the free art and concerts in parks and outdoor venues, and I’m excited to start my new projects! Stay tuned to learn more about my next role as Stephane Duret: Life Coach! This is going to be great…as soon as I get back! In the meantime I will nap because I almost quoted both When Harry Met Sally AND The Wiz in the same sentence…sleep deprivation? Maybe…

~S

*8 Hours later, it isn’t the NY Summer I was expecting to greet me upon landing but I’m here! Hello America, Hello friends and family, Hello life “con’t” ;) So thrilled to be here…now lets go get me a job!!! ;)

The Bitter-Sweetness

(5/15/13)

It is 4am and I can’t sleep. Maybe it’s the couch, maybe it’s the mosquitoes, or maybe it’s the realization that I want to go home. It has truly been a blessing being here with the love and support I was looking for. I’ve been validated with compliments, immediate work, and many empty promises. But I’m noticing that this is not it for me. Maybe the point of my trip was to feel more like a “somebody,” to feel important. Maybe it was a lesson in collaboration, coexistence, or the fact that no one can be completely 100% independent. Maybe it was to reconnect with my love for the American Musical that I somehow lost track of, or maybe I had to leave my country all together to see what I’d really be missing should I ever choose to leave it behind for good. These are all beautiful and important things to learn but what it boils down to is that there really isn’t much for me here. As an American non-Hebrew speaker in Israel already my options were limited, then to add to the fire that I’d have to bend over backwards for legal papers and documents to do things that I wouldn’t necessarily do on my own accord. My dearest friends are freelancers bouncing from job to job, working events (i.e. Bar/Bat Mitzvahs…i.e. teenage birthday parties) praying that they would’ve worked enough this month so that they could get paid NEXT month, and pay their bills. It’s the same struggle we have in the states except in a smaller pool with less competition at a much lower caliber. My friends are at the top of their game working to build a status quo that does not exist here and I want to make phone call after phone call after visits and stays in government offices to be thrown into that same fire?

I’ve learned that I want to work, and I have realized that I am willing to work to get work. I mentioned in an earlier blog that Action is a necessity and that seems to be the blue ribbon winner of lessons on this trip. I understand this now (as if I didn’t before). It will still be hard to jump through the hoops in the Big Apple, but at least I’ll be jumping hoops for a reason…in a language I speak!

It’s amazing how things come full circle…I’m remembering the sleep I lost when I decided to start The Quest (Note: I seldom loose sleep) and here I am filled with the same anxiety of what’s yet to come. Truthfully, I can stay up until dawn, I can pout, and cry, and be frustrated all I want but this will not give me the answers I want. No matter how many psychics you pay, you can never really know your future. All we can do is try and try again. Have a goal, make a decision, try until you can’t anymore then repeat steps 1-3 either until you’ve found your calling or until the day you leave the physical world. I’ve always had a hard time with this, but now as these thoughts leave my head through my fingers and my eyelids double in weight (no fat jokes!) I will rest my head knowing that I don’t know, and that I won’t know until it’s time. I tried Israel…and now it’s time to try New York again. A scary world for different reasons than many may think…but the goal’s been set, the decision’s been made, and now it’s time to try and try again.

I will start now by trying and trying to get some rest!

To all of you who kept such strong faith in me when I had no idea what I was doing, I love and appreciate you more than words can say!

  To trial and error!

~S

Popsicles and Gummy Sharks

4/29/13

Yesterday was a fantastic day! I had to be up at 8am, the absolute EARLIEST that I’ve had to be awake in the past 2 months. It was a hard, but what a pay-off…I FINALLY HAD SOMETHING TO DO!!! Rehearsal for a TV comedy show that I’ll be dancing in tomorrow! I have to be up at 5:30am for this one in order to get to the station by 7…wish me luck!

I got to rehearsal and was barely alive let alone coherent (not to mention COMPLETELY lost in the foreign language I still don’t speak). We entered the studio and began stretching, as professional dancers tend to instinctively do, when the choreographer walked in, laughed, and assured us that that wouldn’t be necessary. We learned 3 quick easy numbers and ran them a few times each for about 2 hours, then were released. “This is swell!” I told myself, still sleepy yet satisfied with my effort (anymore just would’ve been too much!) It always feels great to get up, and have somewhere to be, but to then be released early? Life is good!

My friends and I took advantage of the free afternoon, grabbed lunch, and vegged out for a minute. This was maybe the hottest day Israel has seen this year, paired with such an early morning we were all in rare form…slightly delusional. Being from Miami, I am use to heat but this heat came with a desert dryness that kept you thirsty. Still with time to spare before my friend had to teach a class he decided to take his girlfriend and I to one of his secret spots in Petach Tikwa (The “Western” suburb I mentioned a few blogs ago, except that it is, in fact, Eastern…The “Western Suburb” of Israel would actually be known as The Mediterranean Sea). It was an amazing Nature Reservation surrounding one of Israel's main water sources. We basked in the shade of a giant tree next to a pond, green with lily pads, and sat like children playing word games, singing, and back-up dancing for each other.

On the verge of dehydration, we decided to leave our little piece of heaven on Earth for some much needed refreshments, and of course, like children with a little allowance money in our pockets we left the corner store with 3 cases of water, 10 popsicles (They were 10 for 10 Shekels!), and a little bag of gummy sharks. We went back to my friend’s house and finished our popsicles while lying on our backs on the refreshingly chilled tile. It was a nostalgic flashback to one of those perfect “first day of summer” days…I can’t really tell if it was a flashback of my own life or of the movie Now And Then...regardless, it was nothing less than marvelous!

Wish you were here!

~S