1/9/2014
It is the night of my first preview
for HARD TIMES: AN AMERICAN MUSICAL (take 2) and to be honest, I am 23 clouds
above 9!
It has been a little while since my last post, which, for
those of you following may have noticed (…5 months and 25 days to be exact) and
to say that my life has been a bit “in flux” for the past year would be a bit
of an understatement. I have flown continents and shifted my way around the
city that shows no mercy. I’ve spent holidays abroad with friends and strangers,
and I’ve celebrated at home with the family I’ve missed, reconnected with friends
I hadn’t seen in 10 years. I have been down, up, down, right, East, up, down,
back, slightly left of center and it has all brought me right, back to this
moment. The moment where inspiration is at 10 and my feet seem to be on some
semblance of stable-ish ground…AT THE SAME TIME!
Passion: A glorious gift. To find
it, to have it, taste it, live it, be it…REMEMBER it. There is no affirmation
more powerful in the world than the re-introduction of a passion that dwindled,
lost in the abyss that is the living of life. To reconnect with The Reason,
with Le raison d’etre, with the love to, from, and for Life…there isn’t
anything like it!
I have always known (or at least
for a little while now) that my home was on the stage. And having been off the
stage for the entirety of the year 2013 made this year one of the most complicated
yet enlightening years of my short existence. As unfortunate as it may have
felt at times, I knew that it’d be beyond worth the wait. Now, as I look at
this seamless and brilliant transition back into the world I’d spent so much
time missing, I am living to say that my patience has been well paid off.
I have spent this past year on such
a desperate combing of the Earth (quite literally) for a sensation. For THE
sensation that has no words of explanation. In search of a purpose, for
fulfillment, for life! I know that LIFE surrounds us day in, and day out, but that
feeling for which there are no words, comes in spouts and pockets of pure true
love. THAT is what I was looking for. Then, to be changing out of my costume
below the stage I’d just performed on, slightly nauseous from exhaustion,
relief, fulfillment and/or maybe a little too much coffee, then to hear the
band still playing, then the stomping sounds of the audience. Up, out of their
seats and moved enough to take the stage I’d just left to dance a “reel” or a
“horn pipe” in elation…that’s when it hits you…that rush. THAT feeling! The
same feeling from when your parents thanked you for washing the dishes without
having to be asked, the feeling you got when you caught air on your bicycle for
the first time without training wheels right before you joyfully fell in
accomplishment. That feeling where you know you did “right” and there is
nothing left to say.
God, Alah, Jah, The Universe,
Mother Nature, "It That Shall Remain Named" or "Name-less" has blessed me tonight
with WAY more than a great show, but also with a RIDICULOUSLY talented and
generously caring cast, and a supportive creative team. It has blessed me with
the breathe of life, the sensation of living, The Reason. I feel like I will be
eternally indebted to this moment, and it will be a debt I pay off with gusto
(or not pay-off at all but enjoy the debt of)!
Needless to say, the show went well
and I feel better than good! :)
Moral of the story:
Find your passion! Start that
process by opening yourself to it. If you’ve found it but need a break, than
take one. If you can’t find it, or if you’ve lost it somehow I ask you to stay
open. It seems crazy, but once the work has been done, and the passion “put out
there,” there comes a time where the roles reverse and your passion will find
you as long as you remain open to it!
With a heart filled with love...~S
