The closing of the door, The turning of a page...

...the end of a chapter!

   I am sitting here on your average Monday night. A Manhattan in hand, an order of Sesame Chicken with Pork Fried Rice from the Chinese-Spanish fusion spot across the street, and a laptop. Your typical, glorious New York evening...except that it isn't.
   National Geographic maybe should have followed me around last week documenting my every mood-swung move as I bobbed and weaved my way through the city getting a few last minute things done before my departure. "Watch as the irrational artist quits everything he's work hard for, on a whim, in search of something mystical and intangible. And notice how quickly and easily he goes from joyous and ethereal to depressed and anxious." I am ripping my life to shreds with the hope to put it back together again, but better.
It's been surreal watching the life as I know it come to an end in anticipation for what's to come. I can't help but get overwhelmingly exciting when I think about the near future. About all of the things that are ABOUT to happen, but what get's unfortunate in this situation is being in the moment and noticing that everything must come to an end before the "new, exciting" things can begin. We all know how I believe in, and preach about the importance of the present, most importantly the ACTIVE PRESENCE in the present, but I can tell you, last week was purgatory. When we (we being ME) make such rash decisions like...say...I dunno...MOVING TO ISRAEL, it seems an amazing idea until it hits you "Oh...well if I move to Israel then I can't be here. And if I'm not here then I can't work all the jobs that I work...or even live life the way I live it...EVERYTHING must change." And this is exactly what happened last week.
   I started the week with the changing of the address. This means my ex is no longer tortured with the sight of my name every time he opens the mailbox. It also means that I am officially no longer a New Yorker...I am back to being a Miami-an (I would've said Floridian, but Miami and Florida are 2 VERY different places...let's be real!)
 Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
   Not that living with your parents is a problem, but living with your parents is kind of a problem (Hey Irony! Is that you???). Fortunately for me I won't ACTUALLY be living with my parents, but legally? On paper??? Yes, I will, actually be living with my parents!!! This will be the first time, I believe, since 2005 that my permanent address actually matched the address printed on my driver's license (don't judge). That, in itself, was an odd sensation...but that was done, the day came and went, and now it was time for Tuesday! Great...
   The day that I OFFICIALLY moved myself out of my ex's life...from the life and the home that we had built together (this is actually a valid WE). Tuesday was the day that the apartment was rid of anything that was mine and the storage unit was rid of anything that was his. My things are in storage (Because I've decided to move to Israel) and everything in that apartment is to be done with as he chooses. This was maybe the hardest automatic door to watch slide closed. I don't know if it's because this particular door has been trying to close for a few months now, or if it's because we were dealing such a strong matter of the heart, either way it was awkward. In rush hour traffic, torn between silences and "Wow...not much's changed"'s. It was amazing that we could close that door together with so much love and support for one another...still, however, doesn't change the sensation.
  After that trauma, I guess I treated myself to a little emotional break. I ignored the fact that there was still plenty to do and had a pretty normal week filled with healthy salads, or unhealthy pizzas and a lot of Brothers & Sisters on Netflix. Yes, everything SEEMED normal again... well, of course, until Friday.
   I have spent this past year making really good friends with a very special 6 year old on the Autistic Spectrum, and Friday was the end of it. Our last session. This beautiful, fun, trusting bond that we had created is now on hold. The little bulb of joy that would light up 3 times a week every time I walked into the room will now only be lighting for others, as I will be away. Had this not been sad enough he brings me a card that he opens for me that wishes me "luck everywhere I go," and 4 pictures of him so that if I ever miss him I can look at the picture and he will be there! I'm still getting choked up about it days later! He's such a special kid who's taught me to think differently. With a more opened mind, with less judgement, assumptions, and expectations. He's inspired me to give back however I can, so here I go...to manifest it! To take the energy from the earth,  and the sun, and other living spirits, come back to New York and give it back! (Is that right, GT? ;))
   Saturday was a hilarious "what are you doing???" conversation with my agent, Sunday was the "Ok kid, pack it up! ALL of it...now" and Monday (Yesterday/right now) was my last shift at the restaurant. Like light switches being flicked off one at a time, day by day, everything is coming to an end. But after I teach my last outreach classes in a few hours (Hello, 1:30am), put the finishing touches on my suitcases and the apartment, board a plane back home, then another to a foreign country, I will remember that it isn't in vain...it isn't for "shits and giggles" (though many of them will be had) this is about a manifestation.
"I wanna know love, inhale peace, exhale joy"*
   I was so impatient for this moment to come and here it is. It is time for me to take the inspiration given freely by a child of six, and absorb as much as I can to give it back!!!

Thank you all for being here with me!!!

~S

*Same Page by YaZarah (Blackstar)

MTA Philosophies

Ok so, living in New York City is FASCINATING!!! If for no other reason, than merely for the commute from point A to point B. I have decided to add a little tid-bit to my blog that I will call MTA Philosophies. This is where we learn important life lessons on the public transit of New York City. Here's what I've been working on thus far. Enjoy, Comment...and Take Notes!!!

1) The Tortoise and the Hare

In a city of Hares, it apparently gets hard to cross that finish line. Maybe if we all kept the even-keel of the Tortoise we wouldn't poop out at the top of the stairs. Just saying..."Come'on baby, you LITERALLY have another step or two to go! You can do it...JUST DO IT!!!"

2) What Robert Frost DIDN'T say:

Warning: The road less traveled...may be littered with homeless piss and excrement.
*Special Thanks to the back stairwell of the L train at 14th St.

3)"A horse is a horse, of course, of course..."

...but why does my cab driver, and his cab SMELL like a horse?!???
 Really? Kerosene, coffee, and a little bit of fart??? I would've been better off on the train!!!

I hope you've clicked "File; Save" on these lessons so you won't have to learn them the hard way like I did! Wishing you safe travels in the tri-state area and beyond!!!

~S

...to new beginnings!

Wow...so here I am!

I will figure out how to work and customize all of this soon, but I guess this is a start.

Now it becomes, oh, so real!

I have so much to learn...so much to explore and experience! This journey will be (and is already) so exciting. I can't wait to share it all with you!!!

Question...Is this only going to my "circle" of 7 or to anyone?...everyone?...I don't really know what I'm doing and I don't get this at all, but I PROMISE I will figure it our soon...Baby steps, right? :)

Well, if this is only going to be seen by my Sweet 7, than thank you! Thank you for being here, and supporting me through EVERYTHING...in agreement or not! ;) I love you Seven more than words can say! (Note: You are the Chosen 7, because those were my options to choose from...I reiterate, I don't know what I'm doing, HA! [This, however, does not down-play the love I have for you])
And if this is going to everyone, then thank you for your interest and support as well...we may not know each other now (or maybe we do...awkward!) but we will soon!!!

Ir-regardless-ly (Yes, I did...already!), here's to my new beginning! I hope it is, at the very least, entertaining to you if nothing else!!!

With much love,
~S